Ladies Zone : Self love

Ladies! Get in here...so this is the season of self love. In response to a previous article on Self love, A writer has also sent in her story...enjoy.

Self love?Getting to actually feel that for myself has been one long journey,and it still is,because there are still days I look in the mirror and hate what I see..I doubt anyone doesn't have those days,but thankfully,I'm at a much better place now.


Where do I start from really?I've been the 10year old who wasn't cool enough and had no friends in school,the 16year old who couldn't get the attention of any boy,the 18year old who never felt pretty without a bucket load of makeup on and the young lady who goes days crash dieting. So believe me ladies,when I say I know the struggle.

I once watched a commercial on tv where about 10 women were asked what they hate about their bodies and my oh my did the answers flow...my butt is too small,my nose is too flat,my boobs are too small blah blah blah and then they were asked what they love about their bodies and every single one of them went mute.

 I bet if I ask each of us to do same,our responses won't be too far off. Now after watching,I asked myself the same questions and guess what?The only thing I could say I loved about myself after soooo much thinking were my eyes. Sad,I know,but that's the reality of being a woman striving to meet up to the beauty standards set by whoever. And that day,I decided,I couldn't go on being that girl,the girl who was the most confident to the world,but who,when the lights went out and was all alone in bed,was just a sad sad person.

It had to stop!First things first,I decided to work on my mindset,you see ladies,there is no perfection. There is,however,beauty in our imperfections. I told myself also that "beauty"is relative. What is beautiful to you may not be same to me,so why not set your own beauty standards and with you,yes,you!You with the charcoal black skin and huge lips and flat chest...

Who ever set the standard of beauty to be light skinned or dark skinned?Curvy or skinny?Pointed nose or flat nose?Who defined beauty for us?We've been so blinded by what we see on tv and in the magazines but hey!stop the pity party and think,do you know that girl in the magazine who you want to be,doesn't actually look like that entirely?Get it?So much goes into creating such images. And if at all she's that same girl,I bet you she goes through same struggles of love hate.

So chill,love you for you!That's the best thing you can do for yourself. Yes,there's beauty in that kinky hair,that flat nose,those bow legs,all those things you hate?Just know someone would kill for those,so begin by appreciating who you are. Now this doesn't mean you let yourself go and be like "#teamselflove"lol,no. You still get to work on yourself,say,you're fat,nothing stops you from exercising or eating healthy. But do all that in love for yourself. Don't do it for anyone,be it a boyfriend or man,just do it for you,you're your boss! And never ever let anyone feel you aren't good enough,anyone who does that should be cut off,no need having such negativity,because you are enough!

There'd be days you feel "Yeah I'm the shit!" and other days you go "But why am I ugly,shapeless,short?" Lol,but never let yourself go down completely,down the valley of self hate and no confidence.Pick yourself up and work!
I'm a work in progress but I'm proud of how far I've come. You should do the same.

Lots of love. - Emike Okoyomoh